Be worthy of the gifts you have

When I see articles reporting children, infants and toddlers left outside fast food outlets in south Auckland, not exactly the safest part of town, when I see stories of babies, toddlers and other children being left at home when parents are out drinking, leaving them with potato chips and Red Bull I cannot feel anything other two emotions. Sadness, then an absolute anger towards those foolish ones who do these things. Sorry, foolish is to simple...Stupid, downright stupid.

There is no excuse for leaving your child in such a position and in such a way. Even the dumbest schmuck on the planet knows there are support agencies out there to help, and I'm not even talking about CYF. Well, I think I might have to take some of that back considering the letter we got yesterday. But the thing is that even for the best parents things get tough and there is no shame in asking for help. How thankful we are to the awesome friends who spell us now and again to have some couple time.

For my wife and I, who bear the burden of not being able to have children of our own, this abuse and neglect we see all the time from those who have that gift tears our hearts right out. We do not blame anyone for this...however the question remains one asked...why do these people get this blessing when we have not? Why is it they allow their God given children to be treated in this way?

I knew from the moment that Ellie came into our home that things would change for me personally. I knew, that I would have to grow up a bit and that the things I want would take a back seat. But then you look at the Ellie before, and the Ellie now...every sacrifice I make, all the time given, books read, hugs and loves enjoyed...pay me more than any sport I could play, any movie I could see, or any job I could take.

For two years I have experienced first hand the joys of being a parent. Yes I have had to endure the possibility of disappointment in working with the State to ensure her happiness, but this kind of experience is not new to me. With my dear mother working in Social Welfare for years during my formative times, so I've seen parents who needed help, seek it, get it and come out better on the other side. Yet there is case after case of when help is not asked for, when pride stands before the need of the child, and the children and then the wider family suffer.

But in having the experience of having this princess in my home, treating her as I would any child born to me, has taught me the love and joy that comes with being a parent. She deserves the same opportunities that any child deserves by right. Love, comfort, safety, assurance, learning, confidence, protection, discipline and boundaries.

As human beings I believe we have a power shared with God himself. God created man in His image and thus we continue the cycle of creation. The gifts he's given us in the children entrusted to our care deserve better than being left outside McDonalds in a dodgy area of town.

No child deserves to be born into nor live in an environment where danger exists constantly, as has been shown with children living in homes where P is being cooked. NO child deserves to be in a home where alcohol is drunk more frequently than water. No child deserves a home where violence is the constant threat.

When you become a parent you yield your own interests to that of the child, even if only for a time. It is seriously a time to consider if this is something you really want BEFORE it comes. Your life is never the same. It becomes better, but there are difficulties, challenges and trials. Late nights and early mornings. Pains and heart-ache, joy and laughter.

I know of no more serious obligation other than being that of a husband, than that of being a parent. From the proclamation on the family, we read "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. 'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations".

When does it end? I don't think it ever does and I don't think it ever should. Sure, the days of asking your folks for money and a free ride should end at some time, but a child should always be able to look to their parents for love, guidance and comfort when it is needed.

If you are fortunate enough to have children...treat them with respect and they will show it in return. That includes saying no and setting boundaries. They will then know as they grow older and thank you.